Reading
But in all these things we win a sweeping victory through the one who loved us. I’m convinced that nothing can separate us from God’s love in Christ Jesus our Lord: not death or life, not angels or rulers, not present things or future things, not powers or height or depth, or any other thing that is created.
Romans 8:37-39 (CEB)
Reflection
In Pastor Mark’s sermon on Sunday, he presented this question for each of us to consider: “Is there a tension that deserves my attention?” Unless we’re proactive in paying attention to what is going on inside us—in our mind, heart, and soul—we will likely find it difficult to grab hold of the abundant life we really want. There might be many things we don’t know; but ideally, we want to come to know ourselves quite well.
In her book, In the Shadow of God’s Wings, Rev. Susan Gregg-Schroeder, who’s a United Methodist pastor and founder of Mental Health Ministries, wrote: “One of the keys to learning to love oneself is to get to know oneself. That takes time and attention.”
We live in an age in which it has become quite easy to be entertained, busy, or overstimulated all the time. It might feel like swimming upstream if we want to establish a habit of checking in with our own spirit on a regular basis. Yet, taking time to have a “gut check” with oneself is an important part of continued spiritual growth. We could choose to neglect our feelings, our hurts, our dreams, and even our conscience–but to do so would mean forfeiting the chance to live a liberated life in Christ. If we really want to live life to the fullest, ignoring chances to take an honest look at ourselves is not a wise path. Even so, we often choose to ignore what we really don’t want to see. There are many ways to distract our attention away from what we think is too daunting to face. Such avoidance can stunt our growth spiritually and diminish our joy emotionally. In fact, we often find that the biggest hindrance in our life—when it comes to becoming who we want to be and how we want to live—is often ourselves.
If we want to become our best self and keep growing into the likeness of Christ, we would do well to spend adequate quiet time with God—when we’re not in a big hurry to do this or that and go here or there. It is during such times of solitude that we can listen attentively to what the Holy Spirit might need to communicate to our soul.
This is especially hard when some of the things we feel or experience are messy, hurtful, confusing, or upsetting to us. Many people try to ignore feelings of loneliness, depression, grief, or other forms of emotional pain. Ironically, we can choose to numb such feelings when they come, and some of the ways in which we habitually numb the feelings might become an even bigger problem and exert even more negative control over our lives.
Quite often, one of the scariest things for people to face in their spiritual lives is doubt. It can be quite difficult to admit that we have no idea what’s happening in us and in our lives and don’t know where things might be heading. In Thomas Merton’s book, Thoughts in Solitude, we find these honest words in a prayer which has brought comfort to many: “I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself. And the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.”
Are you walking a road that’s shadowy and difficult to navigate? Are you feeling alone, scared, or afraid you’re losing part of yourself? If you’re facing this, you’re not alone. There are many people who have gone through such a time. It often helps to get through such a time if we sit with God for a while, begin to name what feelings we can name, bring all of who we are (including our struggles and doubts) to a God who loves us, and then rely on the love and acceptance of those people whom we trust and who care about us. Something that can be key in our sense of clarity, resilience, and healing is this: Holding close to our heart the truth that there’s nothing that could ever separate us from God’s love.
Prayer
Loving God, sometimes the sun is shining brightly in our lives, and we can see clearly that you love us. Other times, things seem uncertain and full of shadows, worry, or sorrow. Teach us, O God, to look deeply into our own souls, to relax into your loving presence, and to begin to learn to love ourselves in the complete way that you already love us. Amen.
