Reading
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
Reflection
When it comes to learning how to live a life characterized by love, what Jesus told us is quite simple to understand, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to do. We live in a society that often emphasizes looking out for oneself, as opposed to looking out for others. By contrast, Jesus was clear in saying that to love the way God loves, we must learn to put the needs of others before our own.
One key to being able to value others is to keep in mind that God has made them as a sacred being with sacred worth, just as God has made us as a sacred being with sacred worth. Even if we’re unhappy with someone’s behavior or their treatment of us, we can still approach the situation with love and respect. Years ago, I heard Ray Buckley, author and Director of the Center for First Nations Spirituality, speak for The Academy for Spiritual Formation. One image Buckley used really stood out to me. In native tongue, parents or grandparents of young children would often address kids by saying “Standing-Sacred-in-Front-of-Me” as if it were their title and identity. Even when a child might be misbehaving, the term would often be used. It got me thinking: What if every time I was bothered by someone’s behavior I thought of them as Standing-Sacred-in-Front-of-Me? In all situations, my brother or sister in Christ is a beloved child of God, just as I am.
Such a perspective changes how we see things, and it increases our resolve to be generous—with our kindness, our material wealth, even our forgiveness. At the end of one of Buckley’s books, Hard to Dance with the Devil on Your Back, he offers a poem-prayer that touches my heart:
“Lord of the Dance,
Help me to dance,
with holes in my moccasins;
feeling the reality of this life.
Help me to give-away
What has been given to me,
So that others may dance. Amen.”
Visiting and revisiting the question “What does love require of me?” also means committing oneself to seeing the other not so much as “other” but as a fellow person of sacred worth standing right in front of us—Christ’s presence with us. If we want to show love to Christ, it requires that we show love to the one who is right in front of us—the one who is hungry and needs food, is sick and needs care, is lonely and needs companionship, or is cast out and needs to be included.
Parallel to Buckley’s theme is a quote from Andy Stanley, which Pastor Mark shared with us in his sermon on Sunday: “Jesus’ followers would demonstrate their devotion to God by putting the person next to them in front of them.” Quite often, putting someone in front of ourselves means placing the relationship we have with that person as more important than our desire to win an argument.
Over the decades of our marriage, my wife and I have smiled as we’ve each utilized a guiding question: “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?” You see, sometimes there’s no way you can have both. We can just decide to give up our desire to be correct or vindicated. Instead, we can decide that what’s most important is the relationship we have with this person and then do what is required to heal this relationship. Such intentionality in our relationships is something love requires of us. Granted, standing up for what one knows is morally right and sticking to one’s core principles is an important part of following God. However, when we pause to look within ourselves, we often see that what at first seemed like a noble stance on our part is really a preoccupation with winning. As Stanley put it, “Love doesn’t seek to win the argument. Love seeks to protect the relationship.” In this way, we can have congruence between what we say we believe and how we live out the love we profess.
Prayer
Grant, O Lord, that what has been said with our lips we may believe in our hearts, and that what we believe in our hearts we may practice in our lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
By John Hunter, Scotland, 19th Century
