Reading
“Let love be genuine; hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal; be ardent in spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; pursue hospitality to strangers.”
Romans 12:9-13
Reflection
Recently, I asked a friend if he would be willing to talk regularly about how we’re each doing as we seek to live out our faith—to have what some in the Christian tradition call a “spiritual friendship.”
I have to admit, while we are good friends already, I felt awkward asking. It felt almost like asking someone on a date. I was putting myself out there in order to deepen our friendship, but in doing so, I was also risking that my friend would be weirded out and not want to talk to me anymore. In the end, I took the risk, and we have started to talk by phone for 30 minutes once a week about how things are going in our life with God.
It’s easy for practicing our faith to seem like something we do primarily alone, aside from Sunday worship. We often read the Bible alone, pray alone, and journal and meditate alone.
Certainly there is an important place for individual spiritual disciplines. Christianity, though, is not an individual endeavor. John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, wrote, “‘Holy solitaries’ is a phrase no more consistent with the Gospel than holy adulterers. The Gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but social; no holiness, but social holiness.” Wesley rather provocatively describes the truth that we can only become holy in relationships with other people and not just in solitude.
To grow in Christ, we need the support, encouragement, and accountability of other Christians. We need to “love one another with mutual affection,” as Paul writes in Romans. This was a key part of early Methodism. When they joined a Methodist society, people would be assigned to a “class meeting.” These were not classes as we think of them today, which focus on learning new information. They were groups focused on “watching over one another in love” and holding one another accountable as they lived out their faith. Their primary activity was answering the question, “How is it with your soul?” and giving account of their lives with God.
For the last 150 years, Methodists (along with most American Christians) have gone away from this kind of sharing and accountability. As a result, many Christians today have no one they can talk with about their life with God. This is a significant loss, as we all need these kinds of relationships to be able to grow in relationship with God.
This is especially important when we are making important decisions. Pastor Mark spoke to this on Sunday when he said, “Find a spiritually mature friend – who can help you discern what is of God and what is of your own desire.” We all need faithful friends who can help us discern, who will support us, and who will lovingly tell us the truth, even (and especially) when it’s not what we want to hear.
If you feel like you don’t have that kind of person in your life, you’re in good company—many Christians don’t either. Don’t let that stop you, though. Think of friends or acquaintances who might be able to help you grow as you follow Jesus. Is there someone from a small group or class, a friend, a family member, or someone you know from church?
You might begin having a regular check-in, or you might just start by asking how you can pray for them. You might even ask someone who is further along in their faith to help you discern as you face a difficult decision.
The Christian life is not something we can face alone. We need one another. Not even Jesus tried to go it alone—he called twelve disciples to go with him. Spiritual friends help us grow deeper than we ever could alone. Take a risk and invite someone to join you on the journey.
Prayer
Loving God,
You saw that it was not good for us to be alone,
But so often we try to go it alone anyway.
Help us to see the people you’ve given us
To support us along the way,
And for us to support as well,
So that we might all watch over one another in love
And help each other to know your grace and love.
Amen.
