The Grace of Being Pitiful

Rev. Brandon Blacksten

Reading

For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him, and, as he could not pay, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, “Pay what you owe.” Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, “You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?” And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
Matthew 18:23-25

Reflection

There are few sounds as joyful in childhood as the song of an ice cream truck. I remember excitedly running out with a $1 bill to consider what delight I might purchase, though it was usually a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ice cream bar with bubble gum eyes.

There are few pains, however, quite like hearing that sound and not having any money. Once, I heard the ice cream truck, but I didn’t have any money. Desperate for a treat, I walked to the edge of my yard and sat down on the curb with my head in my hands and looked as pitiful as I could, hoping to provoke the pity of the driver as he drove down my street.

He was pitiless.

Or perhaps he felt pity but could not afford to give away free ice cream. In any case, he kept driving.

Pitiful. It’s not a word any of us want to be applied to us. Pity has the connotation of condescension—we pity people who are of lower status, who are less fortunate than we. We don’t want to be pitied, except perhaps for those rare moments when we desperately want or need something—like ice cream—and we are willing to sacrifice pride in order to get it.

According to Dallas Willard, though, “Once we step into [God’s] kingdom and trust it, pity becomes the atmosphere in which we live.” (emphasis added) I have to admit, this line does not make me eager to live in God’s kingdom. As Willard explains, though, the biblical concept of pity or mercy is much more profound than what it has come to mean for us. Pity is what enables forgiveness. He writes, “We forgive someone of a wrong they have done us when we decide that we will not make them suffer for it in any way.” Pity is not condescending, but merciful.

We all need to live in this kind of atmosphere. In fact, many of us experience a taste of this through family and friends, according to Willard: “I live with my family on the basis of their pity for me. My wife is given the grace to have mercy on me, likewise my children. Earlier it was my parents, grandparents, brother and sister. They all dealt with me mercifully. They felt sorry for me and had pity on me.”

In a deep way, receiving God’s forgiveness depends on accepting that we are, in a real way, pitiful—in need of pity. Despite our best efforts, we are all broken, self-absorbed, sinful. We avoid acknowledging this to protect our pride, but the truth is we deeply need God’s pity and grace, and receiving those things depends on our willingness to accept God’s pity.

Surprisingly, being pitiful opens us up to wonderful things of God’s kingdom. Willard again: “To live in this atmosphere [of pity] is to be able simply to drop the many personal issues that make human life miserable and, with a clarity of mind that comes only from not protecting my pride, to work for the good things all around us we always can realize in co-operation with the hand of God.”

As humans, we are pitiable and pitied, and while it may not get us ice cream, it is good news indeed.

Prayer – Dallas Willard’s Paraphrase of the Lord’s Prayer
Dear Father always near us,
may your name be treasured and loved,
may your rule be completed in us –
may your will be done here on earth
in just the way it is done in heaven.
Give us today the things we need today,
and forgive us our sins and impositions on you
as we are forgiving all who in any way offend us.
Please don’t put us through trials,
but deliver us from everything bad.
Because you are the one in charge,
and you have all the power,
and the glory too is all yours – forever –
which is just the way we want it!

From The Divine Conspiracy, p. 296