When Forgiveness Feels Impossible

Morgan Jones

Reading

So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger… Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:25-26, 31-32

Reflection

On Sunday, Pastor Robert shared a quote by Dallas Willard:

“To be hurt is unavoidable in this world, and we have choices to make as to how we will handle it…”

Strangely, I find comfort in that foregone conclusion. We will hurt one another. It’s a simple matter of fact. We are human.

Each of us has our own will, and those wills will sometimes be in conflict. But Dallas Willard — drawing from Scripture — emphasizes that what we do after the hurt is what matters.

Our action step was this:

“Think of someone you need to forgive — and then do it.”

Simple, right?

For me, the first part is easy. The second part is hard.

In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he outlines how we are to live in community. My Bible labels this section “Rules for the New Life.”

Paul encourages the community to live differently than the culture around them. He recognizes the dangers of unforgiveness: anger, bitterness, wrath, wrangling, slander, malice.

When we hold on to these things, we hurt ourselves — and the people around us.

Let’s be honest: sometimes forgiveness feels impossible.

But Pastor Robert reminded us that with the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, forgiveness becomes a miracle we get to participate in.

With God, everything is forgivable.
What hurts have you endured?
Who are you holding a grudge against?
What wounds do you keep open because you can’t forgive?
Maybe you’re not ready to forgive yet. You want to — but you can’t quite get there.

You may still be trying to do it on your own. I’ve been there.

One thing that helps me is praying for the desire to forgive. I ask God to change my heart.

When I do that, something shifts. My heart softens. I can love with the compassionate eyes of Christ — forgiving those who’ve wronged me, even when it feels unforgivable.

Prayer:
Loving and Forgiving God,
When I struggle to forgive those who have wronged me, help me to see them with your eyes.
Remind me of the many mercies you have shown me; help me to extend mercy to others.
Thank you for sending your Son to model the ultimate act of forgiveness —
when on the cross he prayed:
“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Give me the desire to follow Christ’s example and forgive those who have done me wrong.
Amen.